To My Mommas

Wow, I underestimated how tough some days can be.

With Mother's Day this weekend, I find myself reflecting on how I'm doing as a mom. Of course there will always be days when we can all do better. We are not perfect by any means but we are doing our best. I just felt like today was tougher than usual.

I found myself really struggling. I was pretty much struggling from the moment I woke up. The baby was up before me and instead of taking my time this morning, I had to jump out of bed brush my teeth and go get her. Normally I take my time in the morning. I typically get up, wash my face, brush my teeth, do my devotion, and scroll on my phone a little bit before I'm rushing around making coffee I hardly get to drink and cooking breakfast. The day moves nonstop once I'm downstairs and there is no looking back. You mommas know what I'm talking about.

Ellie girl is teething and has been very miserable the last few days. We've been doing tylenol, motrin, popsicles, teething toys, and cuddles around the clock. I didn't even know it was possible to get 6 teeth all across the top at the same time. Poor thing doesn't even know what she wants, let a lone me trying to figure it out. Just fussy and whining a lot and for my happy happy girl this is just not her. What better way to celebrate Mother's Day than to give constant undivided attention to the person who calls you momma?!

I am so thankful for this sweet girl. I just wish there was something more I could do to help her. I spent all morning with a crying baby while cooking a breakfast that she didn't eat, so we ended up with cheerios and milk. I even gave her a bubble bath after I showered to help get her mind off it. That lasted all of 15 minutes then we were over it and back to being miserable.

I brought her back downstairs and started getting stuff together to make us some lunch. I made us a grilled turkey and cheese and then texted Anthony since he's in his office to see if he wanted something. Of course I got no text back until the kitchen was clean. *SMH

As I was pulling everything back out to make him one, she is following me around the whole kitchen crying, whining and wanting to be held. I was trying to hurry and make it as fast as possible so I could get her a bottle to have before her nap. I was practically tripping over her every step I made.

All of a sudden, I hear *crying*... *muah*... *crying*... *muah*. I turn around and inbetween the tears she is blowing me kisses. (My heart sank.) I knelt down on the ground and put my arms out for a hug and she came running over and fell into my arms. I just held her and kissed her over and over again. My baby needed me and I was just trying to do everything as fast as possible but what I needed was to just stop everything and give her my attention.

I got her bottle and sat down on the couch cuddling her. She was asleep before even finishing the bottle. I had texted my mom and told her how much I couldn't wait for her to take a nap because she was so miserable and I blinked and she was asleep. I held her so tight. Some how I blinked and she wasn't that little baby anymore, she is 14 months old and most days it's hard to carry her up the stairs.

What I want you mommas to remember is that even though some days are incredibly difficult with a fussy baby, you blink and they aren't a baby anymore. Everyone starts telling you she's a toddler and somehow the laundry and dishes you need to do don't matter anymore. Be gracious with yourself and remember all that you have been blessed with. Those babies are watching you.



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